The New Relationship Bible: How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids
Relationships can be hard. Throw kids into the mix and along with all the joys of raising little humans, there can also be an avalanche of stress. We weren't searching for a humorous parenting book while scrolling through Instagram, but when we saw a post about How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids, we were intrigued by the cheeky title and cover art. We pre-ordered it from Amazon and have not been able to put it down. It's been a humorous, insightful and useful read. We sent the title to a close girlfriend, with a four month old, who exclaimed that she wanted it on audio in order not to alarm her husband. We, on the other hand, have proudly shown it off and left it out on the coffee table.
The author bravely lays bare her marital fights and quest to remedy the art of communication with her husband, while both of them juggle successful writing careers and caring for their daughter. Jancee Dunn interviews therapists, an FBI hostage negotiator, (there is very useful advice from him by the way), and friends, to name some of her research base. And, the book doesn't just apply to women who are married to men; you can easily extend the lessons and anecdotes to dads, same-sex partners or relationships where you aren't married and don't have kids. Essentially, it's about being conscious of how you listen and communicate with your significant other. We are still enjoying making our way through the book, but one passage has stuck out to us as useful not only for families with little girls, but also for families with little boys:
"...research has shown that when men share housework and childcare, their kids do better in school and are less likely to see a child psychiatrist or be put on behavioral medication.
And girls with more involved dads develop greater self-esteem. I inform Tom [Author's husband] that fathers who regularly do household chores, according to the University of British Columbia study, have daughters who are more likely to aspire to less stereo-typically feminine careers, instead voicing ambition to be an astronaut, professional soccer player, or a geologist. When girls see fathers pulling their own weight, they receive a direct message that they are not - and should not be - destined to shoulder all the tedious work themselves."
- How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids
We think this book will become a cult favorite. Just as you grab What to Expect When You're Expecting when you find out you have a little one on the way, this book is a must-read. And remember, life is indeed far too short and fragile to quibble over dirty dishes left in the sink.
*If you click and buy the book from the above link, the In the Midfield team will be getting some change as part of the Amazon Affiliate program.
Thumbnail: Amazon, Little, Brown and Company
Lead Picture: In The Midfield (The cover arrived slightly ripped from Amazon, but none of the pages suffered - thank goodness!)